Friendship
In this stage or season of my life, I often contemplate the concept of a shibboleth. And I can’t imagine a shibboleth better than friendship.
Today, I learned that the section of the Dewey Decimal Classification (DDC) / Melvil Decimal System (MDS) that is devoted to the subject of “Friendship” is 177.62. So, after reviewing the books that were available in that section of the library that I worked in today, I decided to read Good Friends (2025, April) by Priya Vulchi. And each time that I attempted to read more than a few sentences, I was engaged in beautiful conversations with my friends.
Also, while I was in that section of the stacks, I picked up Assholes: A Theory (2012) by Aaron James (yes, two first names and also an “associate professor of philosophy at the University of California, Irvine with a PhD from Harvard” (according to the book’s jacket)) from the 179 section of the DDC/MDS which is for “Other Ethical Norms.” I love the definition that James offers on the 5th page. It states, “Our theory thus has three main parts. In interpersonal or cooperative relations, the asshole:
(1) allows himself to enjoy special advantages and does so systematically,
(2) does this out of an entrenched sense of entitlement, and
(3) is immunized by this sense of entitlement against the complaints of other people” (James, 2012).
That’s the literary context for the linguistic context that I now offer in preparation for this blog post’s main point. Honestly, I wanted to begin this blog post with “Para eso estamos.” I know very little Spanish, but this is my favorite phrase to say in the Spanish language. It means, “that’s what we’re for.” I wish there were a cooler way to say the same in English. So, when I feel the spirit of this phrase, I attempt to stick to its linguistic source.
When I searched the Internet to confirm my translation of the phrase (because I’m insecure about my Span-glish and need a little bit of reassurance from the Internet on occasion), I learned a few new phrases after accepting DuckDuckGo’s recommendation to see “para eso estamos meme(s).”
“Para eso estamos trabajando” means “that is what we are working for.” And “para eso estamos como estamos” means “that’s why we are the way we are.” Two more beautiful phrases to add to my evolving understanding of the Spanish language.
Alright. You’re still with me? Let me make my main point.
I want to be a better friend. I believe that’s what we’re working for. I also think that starts with an honest acknowledgment that sometimes, I can be an asshole even as I do my best not to be. And surprise, I’m not the only one. And that’s why we are the way we are.
That said, for my enjoyment of all of my special advantages, I’m doing my best to exercise them from a perspective of mindfulness, not entitlement. And, difficult as it is, I’m listening if you hold the opinion that I am or was ever an asshole. I only ever wanted to be your friend.
Alright, now that the hard stuff is out of the way for today. I heard Isaiah Rashad just performed an NPR: Tiny Desk Concert. And he and his band are on this thang jamming.
Wait, hold on. I just remembered that this “China Is Asshole” video is relevant to this post. What a historical artifact! And while we’re on the topic, how exactly is Hong Kong?
And I can’t post Cardi’s new video for AH HA on here. This is a family-friendly post. But this AZ Chike and Tyler though? Oh yeah! Friendship!
Alright, I’m done for today.
Wait. One more. And then I’m done for today.
References
James, A. (2012). Assholes: A Theory.